It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
