I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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