am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
