cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
