The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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