Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
