I didn't shave. On purpose
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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