Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
