I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i think my tv is drunk
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
