I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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