So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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