You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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