i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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