party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
