I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
