his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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