I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
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