i really wish james franco would like my vagina
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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