uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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