do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
