Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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