I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The struggles of a small town man whore
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
