I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
