But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
