if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Of course I have a pirate flag
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize