You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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