I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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