we made out on top of his cat.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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