He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
