her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
