she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
