So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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