I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
