oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm always down for nudity.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
