Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
