very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
