Ambien. No doubt about it.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
