I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
