You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
