You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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