I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
