There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
