Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
