I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You can't just leave with hair like that
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize