it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
