The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
