he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm both gender and math confused
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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