wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
