He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
