I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the day after is always just damage control
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
