I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
