That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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