YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
