you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
