What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
