i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
and she was petting her beer can
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
