You made me cry and you don't even care
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
God, I missed his penis.
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