btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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