I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
