It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
