omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize