This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
