Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
